4532597_sOver the past week I have participated in a business challenge.

It was challenging, I’ll admit. For one thing it had me video myself dancing. Unless I’ve had several drinks I am very late to any dance floor!!

But better than that;( although to be fair bettering me having to dance wasn’t that hard!) it gave me huge insights and aha moments. One of them was about my own underearning.

I am sharing it here:-

I’m Jill Porter, the money coach who helps women, in particular, sort out their money shit and I am over being only partly, and erratically, visible.

I’ve had this business for more than 6 years now but really only stepped into it, if still only gradually, this year!  I am now ploughing forward.

Before, I would get the business to a certain level and then something would stop me, and the business progress. Genuine stuff like my Mum dying and having major surgery; but I let them derail me. Over and over.

It was more comfortable to be a victim of my circumstances than to stand up and own my past, and claim my future.

I felt even more uncomfortable than I do dancing and that’s saying something! (Unless of course, the party has been going for a while and I am well lubricated!!)

I was happy to claim that I was an overspender; there was something kind of cute about being a shopaholic or succumbing to some retail therapy!  I was much less keen to admit that now I was also an underearner.

I had sorted out some of my money shit but more had reared up.

It was shit scary!! Why?

What would people think?

Would people still like me?

Would it scare potential clients off?

How could everyone else do it but not me?

I can do lots of scary stuff. I had repeated major surgeries and faced them with courage and used my awesome resilience to recover and come back better than before.

I came out at 52 and told my 90+ year old mother…and that got the heart rate up I tell you…as well as my friends and family. Mostly it was incredibly positive and I was so glad that I had.

So now I been brave and admitted this, not only to myself, but also to you.

With the other brave stuff I could see myself as a bit of a hero. This is trickier. I feel vulnerable and maybe some of those fears may come to pass. I know I will cope with them, if they do. I know I am strong and resilient.

Why do I want to?

I want a successful business. I want a profitable business.

I want to prove the nay sayers wrong!

I am also passionate about children and really want to make a difference for children living in poverty. First in my city Auckland, but then to spread that help as far as it will go.

But way more than any of that I really want to help more people sort out their money shit.

I know how stressful it can be.

How much sleep you lose worrying about money.

How many arguments it causes with your partner.

How it robs you of the enjoyment you should be getting out of life.

How it robs you of your self esteem and causes you shame.

How it costs you some of the opportunities you are given.

So, I really want to support women as they traverse this tricky path and help them find some shorter routes and, if possible, avoid the really hard yards.

To help them reduce their stress, recover their restful sleep and help to make them happy and joyful again.

If any of this resonates with you click this link and book a free strategy/clarity session with me by clicking the link below and we can have a chat.

http://www.financialclarity.co.nz/schedule-session.html

Ok so here is Part 2!

If you didn’t see part 1 yesterday, here is the link:

https://jillporter.wordpress.com/2015/04/29/changing-up-the-back-story/

Having got myself back on track following Mum’s death I then had to take another break whilst I had surgery on my hip. I was on crutches for 6 weeks and sore and tired, so not much work got done!

Now I am not going to bore you with all the details but during the next 4 years  I had another 4 lots of surgery! Most of them quite big surgeries and requiring significant recovery time. Between each one, my business would grow again and be on the brink of becoming successful and bang, another surgery, and back down it would go.

Bugger! But great excuses for absolving me of any kind of blame or responsibility, right?

Wrong!

Now I needed all of those surgeries but on some level I needed the hiccough they brought to my business success too.

I’ve done quite a lot of exploration of this over the years but as many of you reading this will know, I’m not much into woo-woo stuff, so I also rejected any idea that I may have had a part to play in any of this.

Recently, I’ve come to accept that I surely did. Law of attraction! On some level I am still a bit skeptical about the role of the Law of Attraction when it comes to needing surgery or for that matter getting other physical illnesses. The traditional medicine which I have known and practiced as a nurse for so long, still has me pretty firmly in it’s grip!

However, what I have come to accept in the past few months, was how my surgeries allowed me to play the victim, not be responsible for my business success, or lack thereof, and to just coast along with it, blaming my “bad luck” for the lack of momentum.

What I had unwittingly done, was go from overspender to underearner..the flip side of the same coin!

The end result is the same. I end up in debt and never have any money…initially from spending it all and more, and more recently, from not earning it!

What have been the effects of all this?

My relationship ended. I may have stopped overspending but now I didn’t have any money at all and that still put the relationship in precarious territory and F left. We remain great friends still.

I moved into an apartment but for the first time in my life couldn’t pay the rent, moved out and went housesitting. I actually love doing this. I stay in some fabulous homes and look after some amazing animals and have wonderful experiences. I hate moving though and living out of a suitcase can get pretty tedious!

When I moved into an inner city apartment I sold my car and walked everywhere. I haven’t been able to replace it.

I have had to borrow money from friends and family. This has strained some treasured relationships.

For some months I was on a WINZ accommodation supplement.

My pride has taken some massive hits.

But, I now know and believe that I truly have something to offer so many people.The lessons I have learned about our relationships with money are too valuable not to be shared. The work I do is important and who could be more qualified to do it! I am taking responsibility for that. There are people out there who need me.

Now that I have spilled all that ( whew!!) I intend that this blog will be a way to chronicle my journey and adventures along the way, whilst also giving some personal finance tips and information. You will also meet some of the funny and sweet animals I look after, and see some of the wonderful views I enjoy.

I hope that it will sometimes be funny, it may be irreverent, could well be opinionated on other subjects other than the one at hand but I hope it will be enjoyable. Please interact with me. I love hearing from you and love suggestions and comments….positive or negative. Until later….

OK, I am changing things up in here!

For a few years I have been posting irregularly in here, usually about money and money behaviours. It’s been OK but it was a bit boring( actually often a lot boring!!) and I’m not into boring and nor do I lead a boring life.

Sooooooo….. I have decided to change it around and I am going to post more regularly just on what’s happening in my life. It won’t be on all of it, I promise!! I will still focus on money in many ways but it will be more centred on my ongoing relationship with money and where that has led me and the adventures I have along the way.

It may not be pretty, it may not be well punctuated and it may not use correct grammar all the time, but it will be real. It may well contain some of my opinions on other stuff too…so look out!

A catch up first..

As many of you know, for a lot of years I was an overspender (aka shopaholic) and a chronic debtor. I always had credit card debt apart from a few weeks when I had, yet again, managed to pay them off, vowing to never use them again…until I did! Every. Time!

I was living in the USA ( my home is New Zealand) and met a new partner.. A quick explanation here. I usually use “they gave me an ultimatum” but in the interests of really telling it as it is, it was really she gave me an ultimatum. I warned you that my life isn’t boring …I came out as a lesbian at 52 and F was my first female partner! Using “they” has given me a few laughs though! eg a male CEO saying ” so all you needed was a good man!” As if!!!

Anyway, F gave me an ultimatum: either get help for my spending and behaviour around money, or we were through.

So, I found a counsellor and began Financial Recovery counselling. It was a gamechanger! I stopped using my credit cards immediately and began tracking what I was spending. Did I become a penny pincher? No, but did I plan my spending and then  track what I spent? Hell yeah!!

Things were trucking along pretty well…until the company was restructured and my position was eliminated.

Back to NZ I came with F relocating with me. The only problem was I didn’t have a job as I had become too senior (and too expensive) for the local subsidiary. I’d had my fill of corporate life anyway and decided to strike out on my own and Financial Clarity was born. I would help people, women in particular, who had issues around money like I did.

It wasn’t an overnight success..far from it but I began to attract clients and I was able to help them change their relationship to their money. It had hiccoughs along the way and lots of them.

My Mum got ill and died aged 93. I was delighted that self employment allowed me the freedom to spend some very valuable weeks with her before then though. My wonderful Mum’s death derailed me than I thought it would. I thought I was pretty accepting of the inevitable with her age and failing health.

On many levels I was but I missed her more than I thought possible and still do.

Look for part two of the catch up tomorrow!

Underearning is no joke!

February 20, 2014

Women and underearniAunty Acid payslipng is a serious topic however, and one I feel strongly about. Pay equity is something that we all need to consider, not only for ourselves, but even more importantly for our daughters.

There is a lot written about both topics and there has also been a lot of research into pay equity, both here and elsewhere in the world. There is still a significant gap here between women and men in pay for jobs of “equal value”.

There are many reasons, excuses and justifications, but as Sheryl Sandford, COO of Facebook, wrote in her book we, as women, need to work to change it! Sheryl Sandberg leadership not bossy

So ask for a raise if you’re salaried, apply for positions that you will need to grow into ( guys do this all the time. They apply for positions which they are not necessarily qualified for, trusting in their ability to be able to do them successfully! Often as women we don’t do this.) and charge what you are worth if you are self employed. Many mentors or coaches actually suggest you charge what you think you are worth and then double it!! Too often we way undervalue ourselves. Most importantly teach our daughters to value themselves and that they can do and be whatever they put their mind to.

Please comment below and also please forward this to at least one friend. Someone you know would appreciate it.