When I was at primary school, maybe about 8 or 9, I always wanted these Clarks sandals like everyone else had!

Clark's sandals

Mum would never agree. For some inexplicable, or maybe not understood, reason she would never buy them for me.

She always insisted, and bought me these and they were always red! I hated them.

Jellies

Now history has shown that I was something of a fashion trail blazer in the1960’s by wearing jellies! I’m sure that idea never entered Jeannie’s (Mum’s) mind and it doesn’t matter, I still hate them.

I use this story to illustrate a point.

When I was in the midst of my overspending and chronic debting I thought I was on my own because everyone else could manage their money. I hid my shameful secret pretty well; or at least I thought I did. Just as I didn’t want to stand out with my jellies, nor did I want to stand out with my inability to manage my money.

Now, not everyone was wearing Clark’s sandals at school, probably just the girls I considered cool or in!

Like that, I now know that not everyone manages their money well either!

I’m generally considered smarter than your average bear and I couldn’t! I’ve had many clients who were seen as very successful, and in many ways were, but their finances were in a mess. They weren’t all overspenders like me but their money situation was chaotic.

Admitting that I needed help really changed the situation for me and finding that I wasn’t alone made all the difference.

If you know deep in your heart that you could be doing a better job with money then get in touch and we can have a complimentary strategy session to see how you could be doing better. Click on this link to my website and contact me today…I’d love to chat and I know you will feel better after we do.

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href=”https://jillporter.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/12637931_s.jpg”>Shame

It’s been a funny few days.

I have had some great responses to telling my back story.

The odd questioning ones as well.

Why would I tell this?

Maybe I should have made it more positive? Maybe it would be off putting if someone was wanting to work with me, if they knew I didn’t have it all sorted out?

None of them were doubts I hadn’t had myself, trust me. However, I take heart from Brene Brown’s quote : “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”

My purpose in telling my story is not only owning it myself but also, hopefully, providing encouragement to others who may be thinking that they are walking this path on their own. They are not.

I am on that path too and I meet people all the time, who are on their own version of this journey.

In our society, money is not talked about unless it is bragging about how much you have! Most people don’t do that. My mother went to her grave at 93, not ever knowing how much my father earned!!

Things have changed from then but it is still considered shameful to be in debt, to have to borrow money and god forbid to go bankrupt. (At the same time as we are bombarded with advertisements to buy, buy, buy! And to get this credit card and be jetting off on overseas holidays etc, etc,etc.)

I know how lonely it can feel to have these issues and feel that you are all alone. How scary it is. How alienating it feels. Just how fucking ghastly it feels!!

I hope by being honest about my path I can help someone else not feel so alone and to feel braver about reaching out for help, or just to tell someone else, so that it doesn’t feel so lonely and scary.

Another Brene Brown quote helps too:- “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”