Love and Money

February 17, 2010

I recently read this  great article, by Kathy M. Kristof, a columnist from the L.A. Times.http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-cover-love-money14-2010feb14,0,6454842.column

Her opening paragraph says it all:- (I know Valentine’s Day is now over but what she says counts any day!)

“It’s Valentine’s Day, when even reasonable people wander around, engagement rings at the ready, blathering about how “love is the answer.”

Passion often blinds sweethearts to the fact that matrimony is, at bottom, a contract. Figuring out how that partnership can prosper is critical for a successful union. Yet financial differences rank among the greatest sources of marital misery, in part because talking about money before you tie the knot makes many couples uncomfortable……….”

Snap out of it! Love, in fact, may be the problem.

Kathy Kristof goes on to say that it’s not too late; but that the earlier our partners are aware, and understand, our financial history and what shapes our money views, the better.

In my practice, I use a tool developed by Karen McCall of the Financial RecoverySM Institute: the MoneyMinder® Personal Autobiography. This does an excellent job of guiding you through a self discovery process, on the influences which have determined the way you manage money.

When both partners have completed their own autobiography, sharing them often leads to lots of “uh-huh” moments. This opens many avenues for exploring how those differences can be better handled, without always causing rows. The options are considerable.

I’d love it if you would take this poll and allow me to discover how you have dealt with the money discussion before you committed to a relationship.

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